Fatherhood is Brotherhood: Supporting Fathers Through Community and Camaraderie

From aunties and uncles to kookums (a commonly used derivation of kôhkom, Cree for “your grandmother”) and kakás (Lakota for “grandfather”), Indigenous communities often embrace a definition of family that includes members beyond mother, father, and children. However, many parenting programs focus primarily on the mother—child dyad. Shamika Dokes-Brown, program manager of the Strong Families home visiting program, wholeheartedly supports viewing the family unit through a kinship paradigm and providing care to fathers and all other family members, not just mom and baby. The Native American Health Center (NAHC), a nonprofit Federally Qualified Health Center serving California’s Bay Area, embraced an opportunity to use county funding to start a program designed especially for fathers. Through this program, the team brings fathers into the NAHC home visiting fold, providing practical parenting strategies and a safe place to talk, share, empower, and affirm.

The NAHC, a Tribal Home Visiting grantee since 2011, facilitates the Strong Families home visiting program, using the Family Spirit home visiting model to support pregnant and parenting families with young children. One important focus of the program is to fully engage and support fathers in their parenting role.

Paul Millard, a Strong Families home visitor/fatherhood coordinator with over a decade of experience in the mental health field, works to support those fathers. Mr. Millard is currently the only male Strong Families home visitor. His background, passion, and commitment made him the clear choice for this work. When Millard and Dokes-Brown noted a lack of engagement from fathers during home visits, they aimed to create new positive parenting opportunities for fathers that would help them overcome poverty, a lack of employment opportunities, and a shortage of services.

An opening presented itself to do just that. In 2013, First 5 of Alameda County and Alameda County health departments collaborated to form the Alameda County Fathers Corp (ACFC). The ACFC supports fathers, service providers, and the community by offering training and promoting father-centered programming. Shortly after the ACFC's formation, the organization announced the availability of grants for developing local fatherhood programs. Dokes-Brown and Millard seized the opportunity to build something new for fathers. They won the grant and created the new Fatherhood Is Brotherhood program (FIB). 

Millard implemented FIB mindfully and carefully, adjusting along the way. Recruitment takes time, building trust takes patience, and fathers needed to know this was a safe place for them. As the FIB lead, Millard used patience and consistency to draw dads in and keep them engaged. That strategy paid dividends, with fathers who paused to connect with the home visiting program in the past now becoming regular attendees of support groups and talking circles. 

One such participant made a lasting impression on FIB. Millard spent years engaging with this father, who was recently released from prison, to help navigate his re-entry. Despite the father regularly missing scheduled appointments, Millard remained consistent. One day, the father showed up. From there, he maintained engagement with FIB. Today, this father is a certified facilitator of the Fatherhood is Sacred curriculum, a keystone of FIB. 

Other fathers have also made their marks on the program. When FIB started, Millard developed a book of affirmations for participants. It includes positive messages, a space to reflect on daily goals, and a space to note ideas for father—child activities. The book is continually updated using feedback and wisdom from fathers—and they are proud to contribute. As Dokes-Brown recalls, “When they got a copy for Father’s Day, one of the dads reached out to say, ’Hey, did you see the picture of my baby and me on the flier? And I wrote some of the book!’” Seeing that kind of ownership of the program, she notes, is priceless. 

Both Dokes-Brown and Millard hope to see FIB evolve and grow as they work to meet fathers where they are, providing positive parenting support. Millard notes, “My whole goal is to break the [negative parenting] cycle. In so many families, it's a generational thing. If a kid is raised one way, he will raise his kids that way. We give guidance and are supportive of what they need, what they want.” This approach has created a thriving father-centered program. With patience, consistency, and kindness, FIB helps fathers find their inherent value and strengths, sowing seeds for a healthy future for their children and families.

For more information about the Native American Health Center Home Visiting Program, contact Shamika Dokes-Brown, home visiting program manager, at Shamikad@nativehealth.org. The Administration for Children and Families’ (ACF’s) Tribal Maternal, Infant, and Early Childhood Home Visiting program awards grants to tribal entities to develop, implement, and evaluate home visiting programs in American Indian and Alaska Native (AI/AN) communities. The grants help build and strengthen tribal capacity to support and promote the health and well-being of AI/AN families, expand the evidence base around home visiting in tribal communities, and support and strengthen cooperation and linkages between programs that serve tribal children and their families. Find out more about the Tribal Home Visiting program and grantees.